The day finally arrived, much to Cale's dismay! First day of Camp. He was not convinced that he was ready to go. He wanted to wait another year. Kept saying he wasn't going to have any fun and that he was going to be homesick. Well, as I am typing this, I look up at the clock and realize that it is time for "lights out" in the cabins at Camp - where he has been since this afternoon.
Let me first start out by saying, he was not forced to go to Camp. He has attended 2 years of Day Camp (and loved it) and he is now old enough for Overnight Camp. We did go and take a tour last year and he was very excited! He talked about it a lot. He happily wrote another essay to submit for a chance to win a partial scholarship towards Camp. (Sidenote...he won a FULL SCHOLARSHIP! - HOLLA!) He was all into getting things ready. We put in a request for he and a friend he made at Slam Dunk for Diabetes Basketball Camp to be in the same cabin - and they are! Fast forward to this past week, the week before Camp is to start. He doesn't want to go. There was a lot of talking it out and asking him to please just give it a try and that we KNOW he is going to have a great time! I all but told him if he can't hack it, he can be picked up early.
He was very quiet the entire ride to the campgrounds. He did "perk" up a bit when we found his friend and realized that they were in the same cabin. He enjoyed picking out his bunk and getting the top bunk all ready with his sheets, pillows and blankets. However, HE DID NOT WANT US TO LEAVE! Heartwrenching! However, as we got to the parking lot, I could see through the trees and he had been talking to another boy that seemed unsure also and they were playing tether ball together. Big sigh, he was making friends and participating already.
BUT - Today was one of the hardest days that I have experienced in a very long time. I am going to insert a WARNING here...rambling coming up!!
I haven't cried this much since he was diagnosed. I have teared up on and off during the last couple of weeks. But his morning, I sobbed in the shower. I had to leave the room so that Cale wouldn't see me cry several times during the day. I cried as we were driving to the Camp (again, he couldn't tell). I cried after hugging and kissing him goodbye as my husband was dragging me away telling me to let him be, he will be fine. I cried during the new parent orientation (kept my sunglasses on as to not look too foolish...didn't work). I cried in the car as we were driving away. Thankfully, I fell asleep on the ride home! Can't cry in your sleep! BUT, I woke up one town away and started crying when we got into our town. Even now, I have tears rolling down my cheeks. One of the worst headaches I have ever had has finally subsided. Deep down I KNOW HE IS GOING TO BE FINE! I'm more worried about how he is going to adapt than I am about the diabetes part. Don't get me wrong, I will feel tremendous relief every morning at 7:00 when I haven't heard my phone ring (that is the time for morning BG checks...I will know he made it through the night - morbid, I know, but an aspect that we D-Mama's must deal with!). I was pleased when I heard that at 10 pm every day, the entire medical staff meets and they go over each and every camper's day on an overhead projector and review their BG's, their activity, the previous day's and evening's BG's and discuss trends and if there should be any changes. The Staff Doctor has the ultimate say on everything, but they do not take any of this lightly!!!
Well, I've been blog absent for awhile and when I do come back on I am a blubbering idiot!! I sincerely hope that, at the end of the week, I will be blogging about the incredible time Cale had at Camp. Now to try and sleep through the night. My guess is that I will finally be able to do that Thursday or Friday night!!!
***UPDATE - Yes it is 4:15 and I am awake AGAIN! Told you I wouldn't make it through the night yet!!***